How to Gain Peace in Your Life
Last week, I hoped on Facebook to scroll through as one does. As quickly as I had opened up my app, I was reading a thread with moms complaining about school. Everyone’s opinions were flying high and raging. Even though this had nothing to do with me, I noticed my heart was racing and my breathing was shallow. Now, I was anxious about my day, my week, well... everything.
It would be ignorant to dismiss the pulsating anxiety that is all around us and the effects its having on our lives. Opinions, anger and frustrations are being spewed in multiple platforms whether it be news, TV, commercials, social media or even conversations.
I knew that I needed to make some adjustments in my life to keep my peace. Basically, I needed to #cutthecrap. If you have been around here for a bit, I am pretty straight forward. I love to encourage women to slow down, simplify and find joy in their everyday lives. I also know that looks different for each person.
Many years ago, I had a breakdown. I was walking through loss of a family member, marriage strain, overwhelmed motherhood, financial hardships and job loss. During that time, I realized I had to #cutthecrap out of my life. I needed to define what was best for my family versus what opinions told me or expectations I had put on myself. I also needed to the #cutthecrap with God and my loved ones by being honest about how I was feeling and my needs.
Preserving our peace takes work. Below I am sharing ten ways to #cutthecrap and preserve your peace in this season.
1.Get Outside
You don't have to do a sweaty betty full workout everyday, but there is something calming about the outdoors to our souls. In the Psalm 19 verse 1, David declares The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. For me, being outside reminds of creation and God’s beauty. Plus, we all need Vitamin D to help our brains and hormones function properly. Sunlight is natural Vitamin D. Try to sit outside for at least 5 minutes or maybe take a walk. Anything simple will help.
2. Get quiet first thing in the morning before the rush of the day.
There is something so life giving about my coffee time in the morning before the rest of the house is awake. There is peace in the quiet. Read a bit, journal, or just sit in peace. The gift of quiet will soothe your weary mind.
3. Write out your feelings
Writing out how we are feeling can be so cathartic to our souls and minds. Usually when I brain dump or list my stresses, fears and worries, I find that I gain some clarity from God. Sometimes, it is a simple reminder that no human can possibly complete all the things I am expecting of myself. Other times, the brain dumping allows me to realize my thoughts are simply not true. I can then replace those negative thoughts with scripture and truth. This brings peace to my soul.
4. Watch your scroll
I have to put strict boundaries on myself with social media. I can get sucked in especially when I am tired. I think I am mindlessly scrolling, no big deal. But as I mentioned in the above story, it's affecting me. So now when I open my social media, I respond to my messages first (ie its social media meant for us to respond and interact). But I don't respond to negativity or anger (#cutthecrap). I don't need that. Then I look at a couple accounts I love and comment. But that’s it. No mindless scrolling, it drains me and steals my peace.
5. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself
Listen, I love a good workout inspiration, but I have to be careful that I am not comparing myself to the peeps on the internet. I have to be careful I am not looking at my dust bunny littered floors and comparing it to the perfection on the internet. So about every 2-3 months, I have to go through my follows and “mute” some accounts. Not because they are bad, it is just to preserve my mental health.
6. Get some sleep
Put the phone in another room and go to bed early. We must make sleep a priority. Maybe you can go without it better than me and live off of 5-6 hours of sleep, but not me. I need my sleep. What is a mountain of stress for me at night time will be a small issue after a night of rest. Listen, I know your phone is your alarm and what if the kids need me, etc BUT you will be a better mom to deal with life when you are rested. I use an Amazon Alexa as my alarm. It's $30 on amazon and we have one for each of the kids rooms. That way we can have music, timers, and alarms as needed in our rooms without our phones.
7. Limit your news intake.
I want to be informed too. And I wish I knew of a safe place for you & I to go and be informed without the negativity and agendas spewing in our faces. When I traveled in airports weekly for my job, I was always frustrated with the news on 24/7 loudly playing through the airports. As if air travel was not stressful enough, the addition of loud news piping through concourses made my anxiety rise. If it is your practice to get up, check the COV19 case numbers and tune into some news to start your day, peace is going to be harder to grasp.
8. Focus on things you can control.
Most of this life, we can not control. We like to think we can control outcomes. But there is good news, there are things we can control. Putting our energies into positive tasks can really help ease our anxious minds. I have placed my kindle app on the front page of my phone apps instead of social media, so I will read some on my phone instead of scrolling while I am waiting. I love to take a lavender, epsom salt bath at night to help relax to prepare my body for sleep. These are things I can control to help ease anxiety.
9. Talk to a trusted friend.
Some things I am worried about or frustrated with can be solved by good ol’ girl time. There are just things in motherhood that your man may never understand. Time to laugh, cry or share with a girlfriend can be just the medicine your soul needs. Here is a #cutthecrap tip, make sure you choose wisely. If you are only spending time with friends that gripe and complain about their husbands always, is that really decreasing your anxiety and improving your mental health? Or are they pointing their lives to truth and wisdom? Choose wisely friend.
10. Practice Prayer
I know it may seem cheesy to say prayer because isn't that what all Jesus loving people say? There is a peace that only He can provide. Phillipians 4; 6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Taking time to present your worries and anxieties to God can help your mind feel at ease. For me, praying also helps me to be quiet, which can be hard to come by these days. Keeping a prayer journal is a great way to remember all God has done. Periodically, I go read my previous prayer requests and marvel at God’s faithfulness. Remembering God’s faithfulness will always increase your peace.
I hope you can at least pick one of these to help increase your peace today. Just remember, you can't pour out from an empty cup. Taking time to cultivate peace in your own heart is the best thing you can do for the others around you.
