Quick Guide to Building Routines
Mom, what should I do for my birthday party? Mom, what's for dinner? Honey, where is the ranch dressing? Where do you want to go for dinner? Mom, where are my football cleats?
So many decisions… ladies you feel me?
When I was a new ICU nurse, I was talking to a seasoned nurse one day about how tired I was from my previous day of work. I was lamenting on how I did not understand why I was so exhausted. The previous day was not physically challenging. And she wisely said it's not so much the physical that wears you down it is the mental energies spent that exhaust us.
And there you have it friends, the crux of daily life. The physical stress of caring for little people is real, don't get me wrong. I also believe the mental weariness brought on from decision fatigue is sneaky and exhausting.
There is a simple solution to help combat this overwhelming decision fatigue. Our people and their needs are not going anywhere. It is routine.
Routine helps fight decision fatigue.
Why are routines beneficial?
Routines create tasks that require no decision making. We need tasks that are automated. With automation, our brains don’t need as much energy to complete the tasks.
Routines create structure and rhythms. Listen, I think it is completely unreasonable to think that we have one set routine that all our people follow and we can never change that. Routines need to be flexible and work for you, not everyone else.
Routines create security and safety for our families. As much as we would love to frolic through life on adventures and sweet escapes, the truth is we all need structure to our days. In the book of Genesis in the Bible, it is pretty apparent that God believed in boundaries and structure to our days. In His creation of the world, day and night were created to signify the start and end of each day. God knew the predictability of our days and nights would help us feel safe and secure. And our children need that as well. Predictability and routine provide security for our children.
So how do we create a routine that works for us and our family?
Identify your pain points.
Do you always feel stressed in the evening due to after school activities, work and cooking? Do the mornings leave you frazzled by the time you get to work? If so, these are your pain points. If your mornings are working for you, then don't change a thing. The whole point is to do what works for you and your family, not everyone else. We have enough information telling us the “right” way to do things. No, listen momma, what is right for you and yours may be completely different than what works for me.
Decide what is important to you.
I need a little quiet to start my day before everyone needs me, so I set my alarm 30 minutes before my kids get up. But please know my kids are teenagers and I am not up with them all night. When my kids were little, I did not get up and have quiet time before they got up. I soaked up every last minute of sleep I could get. So decide what is important to you in this season. It's important to remember this too shall pass, so make sure you are honest with yourself about your season and limits.
Track how much time the important stuff takes.
I am constantly underestimating the amount of time something takes. Bless. You need to be honest about how much time it takes you to get ready, have breakfast or get the kids up. Its important to track the time it takes to do each thing. Stating you can do everything required every morning in one hour is probably unrealistic. But you could incorporate dry shampoo and pop tarts into your morning routine to save some time. It is truly up to you. (Yes, I give my kids pop tarts sometimes, I ate them daily for years - it will be okay)
Know your endpoint time and work back from it.
If your kiddo has to be dropped off at 8am at school and the drive there takes 15 minutes, then you know you have to leave your house by 745am. When you see your wake up time is 7am but you need 30 minutes to get yourself ready and one hour to get lil Suzy ready then its not computing. So once you know your endpoint time and your time it takes to complete your tasks you can work back from it. One of the benefits of this exercise is that it can help you eliminate some things off your routine. Maybe you have been mentally beating yourself up for not having Jesus and journaling time in the morning, but once you see all the time it takes to do all the things in the morning, plus get out the door on time, you realize that you would have to wake up at 4am to get it all in. So maybe some of these expectations are not realistic for you in this season. #cutthecrap momma!
Take time to ask God what He is asking of you in this season.
Ladies, we let Instagram and Pinterest tell us what we need to do this life that God has divinely given to us. He handpicked you to parent these kids, to work on that job, to love that man, not anyone else. So we need to make sure we filter the voices in our heads filled with shoulds and false expectations. Ask God for wisdom in your routines and he will give it to you.
